101 Alternative Uses For Golf Balls

So this last week I asked some friends which they would prefer, hula hoops or golf balls. And while I really wanted to do hula hoops (because I had already thought of a bunch of uses) golf balls was the winner. I have to say this was very challenging and took a little longer than the previous lists did (also spent some of the time missing my wife and son who are visiting relatives). Regardless of that, I hope you enjoy the latest of 101 alternative uses…golf ball edition:

1. Newton’s Cradle
2. Saw in half to use as a light dimmer
3. Use a replacement eyes for a mannequin
4. Use as a paddle ball…ball
5. Wheels for a toys vehicle
6. Pencil topper
7. Christmas ornaments
8. Pearl necklace…except with golf balls
9. Massage beads
10. Belt buckle
11. Shower curtain decoration
12. Beaded curtain
13. A baseball for nutria rats
14. Big round buttons
15. Door knob
16. Pull string attachment
17. Shell out and make a Russian nesting doll
18. Tiara jewelry
19. Lawn ornaments
20. Use as the ball for an optical ball mouse
21. Use to fill up a bean bag chair
22. Pebbles for a fish tank
23. Glue together in downsizing circular patterns to make a baby stacking rings
24. Rearview mirror ornaments
25. Make a scale model of the Death Star
26. Use for molecular models
27. An eye patch
28. Use for an abacus
29. Scale model of Frosty The Snowman
30. Faux snowballs
    *Can also double as faux hail (if you do either I’m not responsible for the damages/injuries that will occur)
31. Use for jacks
32. Oriental stress balls
33. Make a hammer
34. String thousands together to make a replacement roller for a steam roller
    *Or a dozen or so to make a pin roller
35. Weeble people
36. Checkers with different brands of balls
    *Or Chinese checkers with even more brands of balls
37. Decorative lug nut caps
38. Nametag for pets
39. Lawn gnome panorama of a snowball fight
40. Ping pong ball
41. Use as part of a horse bit
42. Eiffel tower miniature
43. A chandelier
44. Soles for a pair of sandals
45. Freeze and use as ice cubes
46. Stopper for a bottle with no cap
47. Balls for bingo
48. Replica of the American flag
    *Or any other country flag you can think of
49. Use as arrow heads meant to punch and not puncture
50. Use for shoulder pads
51. Accents for a bridal gown
52. Make a big wrecking ball
53. Take to a fashion show and bowl with the models on the runway
54. Hood ornament
55. Head band
56. Stuff in shorts of a MMA fighter trying to be heavier to make weight
57. Prize in a quarter toy machine
58. Shred to tiny bits and use for shotgun blast
59. Make a royal scepter
    *Or a club, basically a blunt object that could be used to rule those in the area or play whack a mole with your friends
60. Cut in half to make miniature air hockey pucks
61. Use to fish by bludgeoning the fish that swim close to the surface
62. Paint and make a miniature globe
63. Instead of apples, go bobbing for golf balls
64. Scale model of the solar system
65. Glue together in random fashion for a conversation starter on your desk
    *Or it could also be a paper weight
66. Scatter by a window at night to be a burglar deterrent
    *May not be effective if the burglar is looking for golf balls
67. Glue to golf tees and use as toppers for sand castles
68. Earrings
69. Stuffing for beanie babies
70. Dice that seem like they’ll never stop rolling
71. Use to cover your eyes when tanning
    *Caution, the golf balls may get hot and burn your eyes (okay they will get hot and burn your eyes)
72. Use as packing peanuts
73. Color alternating dimples to make a soccer ball for chipmunks
74. Foosball replacement
75. Make an adult ball play pin like the kids have at McDonalds
76. Metal striker for a bell
    *The bell may sound like the metal striker has been replaced by a golf ball
77. Sound proofing a ceiling
78. Cork for a shuttlecock
79. Roll across a round putty surface to make impressions for craters when making a replica of the moon
80. Roller parts for a printer/copier/fax machine
    *During a paper jam these will pop out so you can throw them at the machine out of frustration
81. Use to save your seat at the movie theater when you go for popcorn
82. Use to decorate a mariachi hat
83. Dip in neon paint and take to rave part to dance with
84. Slice into pieces, discard the smaller ones and use as poker chips
    *Not redeemable at casinos
85. Drop down gopher and mole holes in a mass number to confuse and make the rodents leave
86. Cut in half, shell and attach an appropriate attachment to make a spoon/scoop
87. Since they come in a dozen you can use an entire box as bobbers when setting up fishing lines
88. Attach to the end of a drum stick either for better grip or for an alternative sound
89. Dress up a cockroach in jungle survivor gear, paint a golf ball brown and roll at the cockroach for some India Jones action
    *Madagascar hissing cockroach may be too big
90. Use as slingshot ammo to take out spider web
    *+5 if you hit the spider and web in one shot
91. Use to tenderize meat before cooking by hanging the meat and either hit the golf balls at it or throw at it
    *Using a golf club to hit the golf ball doesn’t count as using the golf ball for it’s intended purpose because you’re using it to tenderize, not play golf
92. Take on a hike to the top of a large cliff and see how big of a splash they make when you throw them from the top to a body of water below
    *If no body of water is available
93. Glue to tees and place out at a driving range to fool golfers
    *Doesn’t necessarily have to be done on April Fools, since most golfers are terrible they all could use a good laugh
94. Use to replace a similar sized pearl if a clam is sensitive to the weight distribution provided by the pearl
    *If the clam has to pearl use the golf ball to comfort the clam into thinking it has a pearl of it’s own
95. Use to wrap unused rubber bands around
    *This eventually would turn into an awesome bouncy ball
96. Play kickball
97. Use as a wiffle ball
98. Place in a bin of like-sized jaw breakers and see who bites into one first
    *If you do this you will be responsible for any dental damage that occurs
99. Use as a tape dispenser spindle
100. Smack a guy in the head with to keep him from creating another 101 alternative uses list
101. Use as ammo for a high-speed rigged leaf blower when a zombie apocalypse is happening

That does it for this round; add any other ideas/comments/ridiculous remarks below and I’ll be back at it again next week.