Meh, okay so the title is bit of a joke, but oh well. Figured I needed to update my blog for the new year and what better way then making another list of favorited tweets that’ve been collected. Enjoy.
Someone just asked for my fake link building persona's hand in marriage. Subject: "INTERESTED FOR A MARRIAGE."
— Ross Hudgens (@RossHudgens) October 20, 2011
what happens to DOS/Windows a-z drive lettering system when you plug in more than 26 devices?
— Brett Tabke (@btabke) October 26, 2011
Today I learned: don't park under acorn trees at work. Squirrels hate cars.
— Bill Sebald (@billsebald) October 26, 2011
When you burn a man's face with nacho dip while he's wearing a hot dog 'stume, it's best to leave the party before more violence happens.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) October 31, 2011
Failed DM tweets are the new "I need attention deficit disorder".
— roothakers (@ruthakers) November 7, 2011
Last night I apparently had a dream that I was a member of a gang that had Cirque du Soleil-style dance battles. #nomorecookiesbeforebed
— Mitch Monsen (@mitchmonsen) November 7, 2011
You know, in a thousand years, archeologists are going to dig up tanning beds and assume we fried people as punishment.
— Peter Shankman (@petershankman) November 8, 2011
On a Scale Of One To SpongeBob, How Ready Are You ?
— briana (@1913DeucesRWild) November 8, 2011
With respect, the only real solution is for Ashton Kutcher to resign from whatever it is that he does. Let the healing begin. Hakuna Matata.
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) November 10, 2011
CNN is reporting that Ashton Kutcher is going to stop Tweeting. Now if we can just get CNN to stop calling itself a news source.
— Michael Pierce (@OverlandParker) November 11, 2011
If you've ever been to bass pro shops you soon realize how inadequate your personal camouflage wardrobe is.
— Travis Wright (@teedubya) November 11, 2011
— HALVORSEN (@mikehalvorsen) November 14, 2011
OH: People aren't looking for quality content articles when they are searching for wardrobe malfunction pictures
— Michael Gray (@graywolf) November 16, 2011
if you don't have at least one friend who will help you ditch a body, no questions asked, you're doing life wrong.
— Norcross ☕️ (@norcross) November 17, 2011
QVC is selling a figurine of Santa Clause kneeling over the Baby Jesus. I mean, Really?!
— Merry Morud (@MerryMorud) November 18, 2011
Last night's dream had me in the Hypochondriacal Wing of the hospital. They were using entirely too much gauze.
— Ashley Albert (@pluckypea) November 18, 2011
I've never told anyone someone said hi.
— Bill Mc7 (@BillMc7) November 18, 2011
Love this "how to find real food in a grocery store" flow chart! pic.twitter.com/z6IxH5az
— Craig O'Hanlon (@cavemanbistro) November 19, 2011
How messed up would it be if the Hokey Pokey actually IS what it's all about.
— Jimmi Simpson (@jimmisimpson) November 19, 2011
Saw Justin Bieber wrapping paper in Target tonight. I'm still whimpering in the corner.
— Amber Naslund (@AmberCadabra) November 20, 2011
I just noticed that a one of my colleague's middle name is Dinero. She can literally say money is her middle name.
— Jeremiah Andrick (@jeremiah) November 22, 2011
"I was in the neighborhood." -Mr. Rogers alibi.
— roothakers (@ruthakers) November 26, 2011
OH: I've seen things. Things you can't unsee. In the functions file.
— netmeg (@netmeg) November 27, 2011
If zombies ever attack, go to Costco. It has concrete walls, years of supplies, & the zombies can't even get in without a membership card.
— Michael Linhart (@mlinhart) December 3, 2011
2012 Mantra| Dear Optimist, Pessimist, & Realist. While you all were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Regards, The Opportunist.
— Gabriella Sannino (@SEOcopy) December 12, 2011
— Jennifer Sable Lopez (@jennita) December 13, 2011
My old gym called asking if I wanted to come back. I said no. Then I hung up, ate the rest of my ice cream and turned on the TV.
— Margaret Aprison (@mhapriso) December 29, 2011
My wish for 2012: that people would be grownups on the internet.
— Keri Morgret (@KeriMorgret) January 1, 2012
There is a very fine line between being motivating, and becoming a sanctimonious jackwad.
— Amber Naslund (@AmberCadabra) January 3, 2012
There is the paid links penalty, low quality content penalty and "made Google look stupid" penalty
— Branko Rihtman (@neyne) January 4, 2012
@joannalord "Director of Audience Acquisition" is that fancy talk for "Movie Theater Ticket Collector?" 😛
— Andy Beal (@AndyBeal) January 5, 2012
User error it may be. But your responsibility it is.
— UX Yoda (@UXYoda) January 5, 2012
"You're not seriously defending Stormtroopers?!" "they were bred for it, it's not their fault." #dinnerchat
— MichelleRobbins (@MichelleRobbins) January 6, 2012