Meh, okay so the title is bit of a joke, but oh well. Figured I needed to update my blog for the new year and what better way then making another list of favorited tweets that’ve been collected. Enjoy.
https://twitter.com/#!/owlcity/status/106765185691299840
Someone just asked for my fake link building persona's hand in marriage. Subject: "INTERESTED FOR A MARRIAGE."
— Ross Hudgens (@RossHudgens) October 20, 2011
https://twitter.com/#!/faustshausuk/status/128564933800636419
what happens to DOS/Windows a-z drive lettering system when you plug in more than 26 devices?
— Brett Tabke (@btabke) October 26, 2011
Today I learned: don't park under acorn trees at work. Squirrels hate cars.
— Bill Sebald (@billsebald) October 26, 2011
When you burn a man's face with nacho dip while he's wearing a hot dog 'stume, it's best to leave the party before more violence happens.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) October 31, 2011
Failed DM tweets are the new "I need attention deficit disorder".
— roothakers (@ruthakers) November 7, 2011
Last night I apparently had a dream that I was a member of a gang that had Cirque du Soleil-style dance battles. #nomorecookiesbeforebed
— Mitch Monsen (@mitchmonsen) November 7, 2011
You know, in a thousand years, archeologists are going to dig up tanning beds and assume we fried people as punishment.
— Peter Shankman (@petershankman) November 8, 2011
On a Scale Of One To SpongeBob, How Ready Are You ?
— briana (@1913DeucesRWild) November 8, 2011
With respect, the only real solution is for Ashton Kutcher to resign from whatever it is that he does. Let the healing begin. Hakuna Matata.
— Merlin Mann (@hotdogsladies) November 10, 2011
CNN is reporting that Ashton Kutcher is going to stop Tweeting. Now if we can just get CNN to stop calling itself a news source.
— Michael Pierce (@OverlandParker) November 11, 2011
If you've ever been to bass pro shops you soon realize how inadequate your personal camouflage wardrobe is.
— Travis Wright (@teedubya) November 11, 2011
I love having a mustache. I just yelled at someone for smoking a cigarette at the gas station. #mustacheintimidation #Movember
— HALVORSEN (@mikehalvorsen) November 14, 2011
OH: People aren't looking for quality content articles when they are searching for wardrobe malfunction pictures
— Michael Gray (@graywolf) November 16, 2011
if you don't have at least one friend who will help you ditch a body, no questions asked, you're doing life wrong.
— Norcross ☕️ (@norcross) November 17, 2011
QVC is selling a figurine of Santa Clause kneeling over the Baby Jesus. I mean, Really?!
— Merry Morud (@MerryMorud) November 18, 2011
Last night's dream had me in the Hypochondriacal Wing of the hospital. They were using entirely too much gauze.
— Ashley Albert (@pluckypea) November 18, 2011
I've never told anyone someone said hi.
— Bill Mc7 (@BillMc7) November 18, 2011
Love this "how to find real food in a grocery store" flow chart! pic.twitter.com/z6IxH5az
— Craig O'Hanlon (@cavemanbistro) November 19, 2011
How messed up would it be if the Hokey Pokey actually IS what it's all about.
— Jimmi Simpson (@jimmisimpson) November 19, 2011
Saw Justin Bieber wrapping paper in Target tonight. I'm still whimpering in the corner.
— Amber Naslund (@AmberCadabra) November 20, 2011
I just noticed that a one of my colleague's middle name is Dinero. She can literally say money is her middle name.
— Jeremiah Andrick (@jeremiah) November 22, 2011
"I was in the neighborhood." -Mr. Rogers alibi.
— roothakers (@ruthakers) November 26, 2011
OH: I've seen things. Things you can't unsee. In the functions file.
— netmeg (@netmeg) November 27, 2011
If zombies ever attack, go to Costco. It has concrete walls, years of supplies, & the zombies can't even get in without a membership card.
— Michael Linhart (@mlinhart) December 3, 2011
2012 Mantra| Dear Optimist, Pessimist, & Realist. While you all were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Regards, The Opportunist.
— Gabriella Sannino (@SEOcopy) December 12, 2011
@ruthburr @everywhereist @grumpypie I eat trolls for dinner.
— Jennifer Sable Lopez (@jennita) December 13, 2011
My old gym called asking if I wanted to come back. I said no. Then I hung up, ate the rest of my ice cream and turned on the TV.
— Margaret Aprison (@mhapriso) December 29, 2011
My wish for 2012: that people would be grownups on the internet.
— Keri Morgret (@KeriMorgret) January 1, 2012
https://twitter.com/#!/Maltique/status/154034665991323648
There is a very fine line between being motivating, and becoming a sanctimonious jackwad.
— Amber Naslund (@AmberCadabra) January 3, 2012
There is the paid links penalty, low quality content penalty and "made Google look stupid" penalty
— Branko Rihtman (@neyne) January 4, 2012
@joannalord "Director of Audience Acquisition" is that fancy talk for "Movie Theater Ticket Collector?" 😛
— Andy Beal (@AndyBeal) January 5, 2012
User error it may be. But your responsibility it is.
— UX Yoda (@UXYoda) January 5, 2012
"You're not seriously defending Stormtroopers?!" "they were bred for it, it's not their fault." #dinnerchat
— MichelleRobbins (@MichelleRobbins) January 6, 2012
https://twitter.com/#!/scrirc/status/155318151104569345