I read an article on Search Engine Land called, “Survey: Print Yellow Pages More Trusted Than Search Engines & Social Networks”. This got me thinking, when was the last time I looked at a printed copy of the yellow pages? I couldn’t remember. I asked my wife, she couldn’t remember. Then I looked under the mouse on my home computer and realized oh I use it for something completely different. So I started thinking, what are some other uses you can use phone books for? I figured since it’s late I might as well try to come up with 101 alternative uses for phones books. Why 101? Because 101 is a lot more challenging than 10. Now I’ll admit some of these uses may require at least one or a plethora of phone books to accomplish. I’ll admit, some of these are pretty ridiculous but hey, I had to come up with 101 and I didn’t mention one twice. Gimme a break : )
- Coasters
*Well duh, how else would I start this list? - Mouse Pad
- Prop up a wobbly chair/table
- Keep a window open
- Door stop
- A Bookend
*You might want to tape it shut so people don’t try to open it - Cooling pad for your laptop
*Won’t cool the laptop, but will keep your legs from getting burned - Hiding place for valuables
*Assuming you’re an adult and can wield a knife/scissors safely - Build furniture
*You may need permission from your spouse to do this, mine has already said no. But don’t let that stop you! - Make an origami version of Noah’s Ark
- Construct a kitty litter box
- Kill a big spider
- Weigh down a big box so you can surprise someone with a smaller gift
- Scare someone by slamming it on the floor really loud
*Does not work well if the floor is carpeted - Spit-wads
- Armor your car
- Build a set of weights to workout with
- Plates to eat off of
- A pillow
- Send as April Fool’s joke to a friend who works for a directory company
*Inside joke…sorry but it still counts - A fort
- Use as a fraternity paddle
- A booster seat
- A way people with short legs could reach the peddles of a car
- A race course for hot wheels cars
- Stack a bunch up and see how many a monster truck could squash
- Picture frames
- Construct a full body armor suit
- Build a scale model of the seven wonders of the world
*Yeah I could’ve wimped out and gotten seven uses from this but I didn’t - Serving tray at a party
- Halloween costume
*It doesn’t matter what the outfit is, just use phone books - Step-stool to reach something on the high shelf
- A weapon to hit an intruder in the head with
- Collect a mass amount, let them soak in water then dry in the sun and place on your doorstep to let the neighbors think you’ve moved
*Mowing your lawn at night would really confuse them as to why the lawn is perfectly manicured and your porch is littered with phone books - Bonfire
- Glue a scratch’n’sniff on one phone book and when a friend leans over to sniff drop another one on their head
- Construct a pendulum
- Build an outhouse
- Action figures
- Tape 15 to your body and go to a “guess your weight” carnival stand
*If you can’t walk normal with 15 try a lesser amount - Find an empty treasure chest and fill it up with phone books, then bury it again
*You’ll also have to find a treasure map or come up with one on your own - Use one to put out someone who is on fire
- Build a fan to keep cool
*Manual or electronic, either way as long as the fan blades are made of phone books you keep cool - Toilet paper
- Insulation for a house
- Kindling for a fire
- A pot for plants
- A music box
- Press flowers
- Build a scarecrow
- Plug the hole in your bucket (Dear Georgie, dear Georgie)
- Chew toy for a dog
- A scale model of a bus
- An obscenely heavy and pointless package just to inconvenience the UPS guy who never knocks to see if you’re really home
*If you used number 34 on this list you were kind of asking for him not to check if you were home - Mobile for your infant
*Or for you if you’re having trouble sleeping - Wallpaper
*I can’t believe it took me until now to think of that - Gift wrap
*Also, DUH! - A toy boat
*As a bonus you could also make a captains hat - Jewelry
- Tie a bunch behind horses and make crop circles
- A vase for flowers
- A lamp shade
- A ramp for wheelchairs to access buildings that don’t have wheelchair access
- Fill an entire room floor to ceiling and create a maze
- Stairway to Heaven
*You may need a building permit to do this - Use in a comparison test to see if monkeys can figure out which provides better information, a phone book or the Internet
*Make sure the pages marked “bananas” have been removed from the phone book - Replacement seat for a bicycle
*Also works to replace handlebars and pedals - Tombstone for older phone books
- Wet the paper and apply directly to skin for instant temporary “business advertisement tattoos”
- Candles
*May burn faster than normal candles - Make corn meal
- Make a funnel to add oil to your vehicle
- Construct a shelf to hold books where other phone books are used as bookends as designated in number 6
- A bib
- A letter to a loved one
*This may initially look like a ransom note, make sure they read it before reacting - Paper mache phone book
- Support pad to draw/write on when a flat surface is unavailable
- Make your kids use a phone book to find all the information they would normally use the Internet for as punishment
*I know this involves using the phone book, but as long as you don’t use it you’ll be fine - Cool fresh baked pies by setting them on phone books that are on a window sill which is being propped open by other phone books as used in number 4
- A paperweight
- Pour black ink in the middle of the phone book, close and set multiple other phone books on top for several minutes. Open the phone book you poured the ink in and now you’ll have a multi-page inkblot test.
- A quilt
- Create a jigsaw puzzle
- A drum set
- Make chimeless wind ornaments
*Paper doesn’t really chime in the wind - Building blocks
- If you live in Alaska use phone books to block the sun from coming in your windows
- Welcome mat
- Party streamers
- Weighted vest for exercising
- Toothbrush
*May turn your teeth black - A flipbook
- Hula dancer for your car dashboard
- Tear the pages in to dollar bill strips and wrap your real money around those to make seem like you’ve got a big wad of cash.
*Bonus if your wallet is made out of the same phone book - Shin guards
- Target practice
- Temporary roof shingles
- Reading material for an Internet café on April Fools
- Laptop skin
- A clock
- Make a list of all the companies wasting money on color page ads in phone books that should be using those funds for a more sustainable marketing strategy, get clients in those same niches to rock and roll!
*I saw this in Burn Notice, it seemed to work well for Michael Westin if you’re not him don’t do it
*bonus if your workout bench is made of phone books
Well that’s all the ones I could come up with. If I left any out, or if by some chance I duplicated an entry lemme know in the comments below!
Kris Reeves
June 14, 2011 - 17:34 pmDon’t forget partially bullet-proofing a car!
http://mythbustersresults.com/dive-to-survive
Josh
June 14, 2011 - 17:44 pmlol actually have that listed see number 16 😉 but thanks for the mythbuster link
Tara
June 15, 2011 - 22:57 pmI love that you are so creative that you can come up with all 101 reasons in under an hour and a half. 🙂 I am ready for the next list!
Josh
June 15, 2011 - 23:18 pmShh you’ll spoil it for the other five people that read this!
Vibration Plate
June 16, 2011 - 21:17 pmNice, hilarious post. I might have to start using my phone book for those things now!
wwe wallpapers
September 11, 2011 - 19:25 pmReally funny list, I’d use the gift wrap one the most often.
Tim Biden
October 21, 2011 - 0:11 amYou forgot packing material. Shred them with a non-confetti type shredder and they make great packing material. A company I worked for back in ’95 shipped a lot of stuff that way.
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.
joshuatitsworth
October 21, 2011 - 15:28 pmI’m gonna remember that next time we have to move. We have used newspapers to wrap plates and glasses though.
personalised items
October 23, 2011 - 16:26 pmI don’t understand why they still send out phone books. What year are we in? 1993? Such a waste of paper. But apparently we have 101 alternative ways to use them. Haha.